It’s easier to teach ignorance than politeness.

Click to enlarge: The International Phonetic Alphabet. This kind of notation was routine for me once upon a time when I was an aspiring linguist. I am, alas, a cognitive stratificational wannabe.

I was at a conference some time back and encountered an interesting man one evening at an event sponsored by a vendor. I’d heard him asking questions in a session and was intrigued. He had a very thick accent and seemed very excited about marketing email, the focus of the conference.

I actually sought him out that evening, sat down next to him and asked  him about his accent, having been a linguist and still academically interested in such things. He was insulted; he said he was from New York and didn’t like being regarded as a foreigner. He got up and left, never returned or talked to me again. He did, however, sit at the bar and frequently nod at me while talking to others. I gather I was the subject of some colorful commentary.

I”ve been exposed to and studied many dialects, but I’d never heard anything like his.

So, I will add “where are you from?” questions to my list of thing not to talk about at cocktail parties, which includes questions about spouses, children, religion, and any country we happen to be bombing at the moment.

Americans are touchy. I don’t know how we ever got to the point where “I don’t want to talk about that” is an unchallengeable social maxim along the lines of “don’t sleep with my wife.”

If I could kick-start the American psyche, it would remove barriers to talking about taboo subjects that include the fascinating and delightful ways we differ.

My guess is the reason we have these rules is because most Americans are insensitive and don’t know how to talk about them without hurting feelings. It’s easier to teach ignorance than politeness, I guess.

[2013-09-14]

c0