This Tim Horton's sandwich is upside down.

Click to enlarge: Top: This sandwich is upside down - Tim Horton's Breakfast Panini Sandwich Bottom: Tim Horton’s sign in Grand Rapids, MI

Isn’t there some kind of rule that when you build a sandwich, the meat goes on the bottom and the cheese on top?

I can’t eat a sandwich with the cheese on the bottom.

What’s that you say? Turn it over? Can’t do that. Look at the cheese again. It’s like conformed to the bottom. Even if I turn it over, it’s obvious it was built upside down.

Just how do I eat this without feeling like my karma is turned inside out?

[2013-09-14]

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Ever have one of those days where everyone drives like a lunatic, looks at the floor when passing you in the hallway, and no one says good-morning or good-night or thank-you or please?

You start thinking, "What? Are my shirt buttons aligned wrong? Is there spinach in my teeth? Do I have horns growing out of my head?"

[2013-01-18]

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Clarence repairs a $3 handheld CB from the 2013 Grand Rapids Hamfest

Click to enlarge: Repairing a RadioShack TRC-232 handheld CB radio (top to bottom): 1. Preparing to fix the antenna. 2. Cracked antenna lead and housing connection. 3. Initial antenna repair with solder. 4. 2nd antenna repair with JB Weld.

First of all, I am not an electronic wizard. Far from it. I’ve soldered a few wires and added a speaker or headphone jack to analog TVs when I was a kid (we ran them to amplifiers and created our own home entertainment systems), but I never repaired a radio - until today.

I’ve been wanting a handheld CB and found one late morning at the Grand Rapids Hamfest last Saturday [2013-09-07]. I asked if it worked. He said “I don’t know, I didn’t test it,” which, as we all know, means “I turned it on and it didn’t work but I’m not going to tell you that.” Everyone selling a radio turns it on. If it’s a hopeless mess, they sell it for parts; but if it looks decent, they say they don’t know.

The antenna post was loose. Obviously it won’t work. He asked $3 and I figured for $3 I couldn’t go wrong. That’s a small coffee with a shot of espresso at Starbucks. A decent new handheld would run me $75-$100.

Opened it up, cleaned up the grime with Clorox wipes, and quickly identified two problems - a detached antenna lead and what looked like cracked solder that was securing the antenna to the radio frame. I did a little Googling and found another guy who fixed part of the same issue with the same radio, so I gave it a shot myself.

I got out my magnifying glass from my compact edition of the OED (Oxford English Dictionary) and soldered the antenna and base. I hooked it up to my TRAM scanner antenna just to test it, went for a drive, and was treated to a litany of trucker profanity. Success! (A G-Rated video clip is below.)

 

 

 

 

KD8OSB taking a hamfest TRC-232 for a spin after repairs

(Channel 19 Sep 14, 2013, Grand Rapids area; Rated G)

 

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Alas, the cracked connection to the frame loosened again. I’m guessing my soldering iron wasn’t hot enough to secure the solder fixing the antenna to the housing, OR, it wasn’t solder, so I re-melted my original solder and added some JB Weld over that and around remaining bare metal areas where the antenna nut meets the housing. The weld is curing now.

 

Anyone that knows anything about electronics repair probably thinks this looks like crap, but I did it myself for free with materials I had in the house and a $3 radio, so I’m pretty proud of myself.

What I wish I could have bought was a nice $2,000 Icom and erected a home tower. Yeah, that’ll be the day.

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Next step, a mobile CB antenna for the car (which will make four: original FM, ham, scanner, and CB).

The coolest parts about the TRC-232 are the scan and dual watch features. Not too many budget handheld CBs have those.

The next vehicle I get, I’m going to order a 2m/70cm and CB radio installed by the dealer, if they do that anymore. Probably a strange request nowadays.

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BTW, the advice you typically get from old ham radio guys about starting out is to avoid handhelds. The problem is they look cool, but low power and limited range makes for an anticlimactic introduction and the new radio hobbyist loses interest.

That wasn’t the case for me. My latest radios are handheld and run in the car. I hear plenty enough traffic to enjoy the hobby on the cheap and get to take it with me wherever I go. Would I love to have a shack in the high desert with Art Bell? Sure, but this is the most fun I’ve had with $3 that I can remember.

73

KD8OSB

TRC-232 Manual >

 

[2013-09-14]

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It’s easier to teach ignorance than politeness.

Click to enlarge: The International Phonetic Alphabet. This kind of notation was routine for me once upon a time when I was an aspiring linguist. I am, alas, a cognitive stratificational wannabe.

I was at a conference some time back and encountered an interesting man one evening at an event sponsored by a vendor. I’d heard him asking questions in a session and was intrigued. He had a very thick accent and seemed very excited about marketing email, the focus of the conference.

I actually sought him out that evening, sat down next to him and asked  him about his accent, having been a linguist and still academically interested in such things. He was insulted; he said he was from New York and didn’t like being regarded as a foreigner. He got up and left, never returned or talked to me again. He did, however, sit at the bar and frequently nod at me while talking to others. I gather I was the subject of some colorful commentary.

I”ve been exposed to and studied many dialects, but I’d never heard anything like his.

So, I will add “where are you from?” questions to my list of thing not to talk about at cocktail parties, which includes questions about spouses, children, religion, and any country we happen to be bombing at the moment.

Americans are touchy. I don’t know how we ever got to the point where “I don’t want to talk about that” is an unchallengeable social maxim along the lines of “don’t sleep with my wife.”

If I could kick-start the American psyche, it would remove barriers to talking about taboo subjects that include the fascinating and delightful ways we differ.

My guess is the reason we have these rules is because most Americans are insensitive and don’t know how to talk about them without hurting feelings. It’s easier to teach ignorance than politeness, I guess.

[2013-09-14]

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My Grandpa Cairns is mentioned in a sermon at Bethel Baptist Church in Erie, PA

Click to enlarge: Thomas G Cairns, my Grandpa Cairns, Dad’s dad, with Grandma (Geneva Cairns, née Bauer), and his grandkids: Dan Young (held by Grandpa), then L-R, Tom Tom, Carolee, Dee Dee, Linda, me, and Tom.

Pastor Jim Storey has been sharing the pulpit at Bethel Baptist Church in Erie, PA while the church is between pastors. (I attended Bethel as boy and have always considered it home.)

I’ve been listening to Bethel’s podcasts each week, and Pastor Storey’s sermon on Sept 9, 2013 referenced my grandpa, Thomas G Cairns, who eventually became a district director for Loblaws in Pennsylvania and New York. Pastor Storey tells us that he was hired by "Mr Cairns" at Loblaws instead of working at Waldameer; this allowed him to have a job and not work on Sundays. (Loblaws is a grocery chain. They are a Canadian company that once had a strong presence in the northeast US.)

Click to enlarge: Top: Bethel Baptist Church when it was at 737 E 26th Street in Erie, PA. Bottom: Bethel Baptist Church at 1781 W 38th Street in Erie, PA today; this is a view from 38th street.

You can listen to the podcast here:

 

Pastor Storey at Bethel Baptist Church in Erie, PA, Sunday Sept. 9, 2013 >

 

It happens to be a communion service, so if you’re interested in how Baptists talk about communion, you may find it interesting. Note that though Pastor Storey talks about other communion practices - and obviously has an opinion on them - he doesn’t say any of them are wrong.

 

I suspect he might allow for some leeway between transubstantiation and reverent symbolism, but all Baptists I know lean way over toward the second, and in fact don’t really consider any other possibilities; not because they choose not to, but because there's no reason to. It would be like asking “What if vanilla tasted like chocolate?” Rather pointless.

 

[2013-09-09]

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A William Shatner Loblaws commercial & a couple things my dad used to say.

Click to enlarge: Top: William Shatner advertising for Loblaws in the 1970s Bottom: William Shatner as Captain Kirk

Dad worked for Loblaws (later Quality Foods) his whole life. He was a produce and grocery manager for much of that time.

He attended a conference at which William Shatner spoke about his new role as a Loblaws spokesman. At that time, Star Trek (the original series and then still the only one) was in reruns and gaining more popularity than when it had first aired.

I asked my dad if he would be able to get William Shatner's autograph. Dad said Loblaws promised that William Shatner would bring enough autographed pictures for everyone, and he did.

Guess what happened? Someone stole the envelope of autographed pictures from the office at the Loblaws store where Dad worked.

There was no eBay at that time, but there were comic conferences and Star Trek fan clubs and I’m sure the pictures were worth something.

I had built up such an enormous expectation that I still feel a loss today. I’m rather sentimental and keep things like that. Regardless of how you view William Shatner the actor, in my boyhood mind he was a starship captain, and still is.

More than the Price is Right at Loblaws
Loblaws Commercial with William Shatner

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A couple things things my dad used to say…

“Yeah, that’s not going anywhere.”  (After tying something down or packing it tightly.)

“Home, Jeeves.” (After he got into the car beside me and I was driving us home. He said this a lot, so I suppose I must have driven home a lot with him beside me; back from church, perhaps, and grocery errands. One of the fondest memories I have of Dad is grocery shopping with him, especially after he retired. Everyone knew him and liked him and would say hello. Many of them reported to him at one time.)

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Dad did a commercial for Loblaws about that time. The company was using real people in its spots and Dad was among them. He said in the commercial he’d been working for the company 20 years and was looking forward to the next 20.

I never actually saw the commercial. Every time it came on, I was in a different room, and by the time I’d run to the TV set, his spot was over.

Remember, there were no VCRs, DVRs or Youtube in those days. If you didn’t watch it when it was broadcast, you didn’t see it.

[2013-09-03]

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