A neighbor told others I was going home to drink and she could smell it on me. She told my soon-to-be wife as a matter of fact. I did drink in those days, quite a bit, but never during the day, and never when driving.
We love speculating at the expense of others.
- If you sit in your car at lunch, as some do because they don’t have enough time to go out, you're anti-social.
- If you work through your lunch, you risk being thought an over-achiever, by even some very smart people like Jason Fried, the author of Rework and one of the brains behind Base Camp.
- If you’re nice to people who dislike you, you may be viewed as weak. But if you play by the same rules, you're petty.
- The more often you voice an unpopular opinion, the more likely you'll be branded counterproductive.
- If you're tempered around energetic people, you're humorless. If you’re energetic around humorless people, you’re undisciplined.
- If you're openly religious, you might be seen as hypocritical. If you keep your faith private, you might be seen as indifferent or ashamed.
There’s a presence we cultivate when we’re comfortable with our words and actions; there is also a certain awkwardness when we are constantly second-guessing ourselves.
I have trouble enough just being me let alone wondering what someone else thinks I should be, and I’ve had a lifetime to get it right.
[2013-03-16]
c0
Makes a person wonder if they can ever 'win' - if by 'win' we mean gain the supportive understanding of others. But, we're all in the same boat - and those doing the judging and negative speculating are themselves under the magnifying glass and subject to the same kneejerk conclusions. It's a lose/lose - isn't it? Since we can't change the externals - what can we change internally to get where we need to be?
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