Secretive or inscrutable? (an enigma wrapped in an enigma)

Winston  Churchill and Adolf Hitler. Winston Churchill
once referred to Adolf Hitler as "an enigma wrapped in
an enigma." A fellow student at Calvin College
used the same language to describe me, though
I didn't know at the time who those words were
 first applied to.

I frequently accompany my wife (whose first language is Chinese) on outings in which she'll need to talk about things that require a specialized vocabulary, such as doctor appointments.

Once in Toronto, while I tried to answer for her in a hospital, the attending nurse rudely cut me short and insinuated I was not letting my wife talk. We muddled our way through it, but it was very difficult to help answer the nurse's questions by waiting after each one for my wife to try, then look at me, then for the nurse to look at me with an expression that read "Oh all right, but make it quick."

I felt like I was being reprimanded in kindergarten for eating paste.

This has happened in the US, too, sometimes it's blunt and obvious, other times just a suspicion that seeps from the corners of eyes and seems to say, "What are you doing here?"

(If you're an American married to an American, imagine what it would be like accompanying your wife and children to the doctor every time. People that don't know you suspect you are hiding something or preventing your wife or children from answering questions about abuse.

If you layer in my reserved personality in instances like this, I can come across as secretive rather than inscrutable, though I never try to be either.)

I'm now especially sensitive to these situations and ask before I start to answer if they don't mind me helping.  

Despite my best efforts, I'm afraid those who don't know me draw their own conclusions, and I can't really do much about that.

[2014-07-25]

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