Just His Way: A Grandpa Grandy Story

A long time ago, I helped paint Bethel West with my Grandpa Grandy and other men at the men's Saturday morning prayer breakfast. This was when Bethel Baptist Church had two locations, one on the east side of town at 737 East 26th Street in Erie, PA, and one on the west side, at 1781 W 38th Street in Erie, PA. We were painting the one on the west side, which is now Bethel Baptist Church's only location.

The breakfast was donuts and coffee. Grandpa was in charge of picking up the donuts. He always went to H&K, which was on the way, and is still in the same spot, 3712 W Lake Rd in Erie. Erie, PA . (The name on the sign is "H & K Do Nut Shop"  )

After a donut and some chit chat, the men took their coffee with them into smaller prayer groups. As I recall, there was a brief time set aside to collect and update prayer requests, then the leader would say a short prayer and then pause. The pause was an invitation for another man in the group to pray aloud. After a few men prayed, a long pause would indicate no one else wished to pray aloud and the leader would close, adding an A-men, which was always saved until the end (sometimes folks had to be reminded of that), so the experience could be shared as as single prayer.

(It wasn't the end of the world if someone uttered a premature "A-men"; wasn't like the prayer didn't count or something; it was just sort of a "fellowship faux pas".)

We met and painted for many weeks. I learned a great deal from those men. I was the only boy in the group and they chose their words with some care, hoping, I suspect, that I would be influenced well by my time there.

They were all church members, regular goers, upstanding men. Not a one was any different painting the church than they were sitting in a pew on Sunday morning, except they dressed different.[1]

(Baptists are that way. If you meet a good Baptist, you've met the real deal, whether you're working or playing or worshiping.)

Now the reason for this entry: There was a man who didn't pray with us. He had a cup of coffee, ate a donut, talked with all the other men, then when it came time to split up into prayer groups, he got a paint brush and can of paint and went to work alone.

I asked my grandpa, "Why doesn't that man pray with us?"

He said, "Oh, it's just his way."

That is probably the single wisest observation my Grandpa Grandy ever made in my presence. It's loaded with sensitivity, restraint, tolerance, respect, and grace.

Many Christians would have used this man as an object lesson on prayer or fellowship, but not Grandpa.

It said to me, among other things:

* I'm not going to judge that man
* You don't have to pray with me to earn my respect
* I have an opinion but I don't need to share it
* I am happy he's here helping, there's a lot of work to do
* There are days I feel that way too
* Cut others some slack when you don't know what they might be going through
* Other folks have different ways and deserve the space to practice them.

Grandpa Grandy said many other good things, and I will share some more here someday, but this one thing is likely more significant to me than any other.

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Grandpa Grandy retired as senior VP of General Telephone and Electric. He was a very important man, but also very private. No one knew his accomplishments and the respect his peers had for him until after he died and the family went through his papers. I have some of those and will post them as time permits.

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[1]
I was very young and don't remember who all those men were, but these men were among them:

LaVerne E Grandy (my grandpa)
Hoddy Bierer, Dana Bierer, and Dana's younger brother, Brad
Russ Amendola
George Nicewonger

There were many men that joined us, 20 or so on a good morning. My father worked, or he would have been there too. Saturday morning in the grocery business is a busy time.

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Started: 2012-08-27