Clarence Oddbody: A Loss of Decorum

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

A Loss of Decorum

I took my family to a public beach recently. Aside from the marijuana and drinking (or perhaps related to it), there was a general lack of civility.

Overheard (man to his wife or girlfriend who just told him to shut up): "I'm drunk but I'm not stupid drunk. I'm sorry I called you a f**khead."

Tattoos: I don't care for them, neither do I oppose them, but it seems people who lack basic manners are more likely to have more of them. In my day, tattoos were generally restricted to soldiers, the merchant marine, etc.; they were rites of passage.[1]

Ten years ago or so, my son sang at a year-end student chorale at East Kentwood High School. After each song, parents and other adults in the audience whooped and hollered like it was a sporting event. I was embarrassed for them, but no one around me seemed to mind. I realized that this wasn't my high school (which was very large) and this wasn't 1981 (which wasn't that long ago) and this wasn't Erie (which isn't known for its exceptional manners), and that common courtesy in large groups was apparently not expected here.[2]

I do understand that there are different sensibilities among different groups at different times, but I'm not sure what happened to some of the basic manners I grew up with, like attentive courtesy during a performance, avoiding profanity in front of children, or using alcohol and drugs in a family setting.

I'm not a prude. Anyone who knows me well also knows I have a healthy repertoire of 4-letter words, and I support the decriminalization of some illegal drugs.[3]

It's not about the drugs, alcohol or language. It's about regard for our fellow human beings and rules by which we show respect for each other.

[1]
FWIW, every soldier I've known has controlled his drinking and tongue around women and children, and in fact made a point to control others that didn't.

[2]
As I write this, I suspect that the only large groups most of those families at the beach had been exposed to were at sporting events and rock concerts, so they probably had nothing else to gauge their behavior against. In other words, they didn't know any better. Which doesn't make it any more tolerable.

I can hear someone saying now, "Criminy, Clarance, it wasn't church, lighten up."

I guess I'm part of the mannered middle class, which appears to be dwindling as quickly as the financial middle class.

I asked my mom recently if things are really changing around me, or am I just getting older and experiencing the same things everyone does who enters this stage in life where they are gaining wisdom at the same rate they are losing energy.

The answer was that it truly is changing.

[3]
I've never taken illicit drugs of any kind. There has been considerable support for decriminalization / legalization among conservative thinkers, including William F Buckley, Jr, a hero of mine for many years, and IMHO as much Libertarian as Republican.

Oh, and that's Robin Williams doing his Bill Buckley impression here...