Get a Haircut

1
Husband: ♫ Hi, honey, I'm home! ♫
Wife: When are you going to get a haircut?
Husband: My day was fine. How was yours?
Wife: When are you going to get a haircut?
Husband: Mmmmm, something sure smells good.
Wife: When are you going to get a haircut?
Husband: You look so beautiful at 6pm.
Wife: When are you going to get a haircut?

(True conversation. Well, that's the way I remember it.)

[July 21, 2012]

2
Got got this nice comment on my post on Charles Manson:

You need to participate in a contest for among the finest blogs on the web. I'll advocate this web site!

(This is the post he was commenting on: Thoughts upon Charles Manson's Parole.)

The comment didn't actually post (even though I got an email notification), and it didn't have a signature, just a link to another blog. I'd like to think it was genuine, but it was probably a case of random spam for backlinking purposes.

Commenter: If you're the real deal, thank you. If not, well, you gave me something to blog about.

3
Fingernails on Whiteboard

As I mentioned to a colleague recently, the sound of fingernails on chalkboard will soon (if it hasn't already) become detached from experience and exist only in the realm of metaphor, as does "cash on the barrel head," for example, and "three sheets to the wind," and other phrases whose meanings have become divorced from their etymology.[1]

You can't replace it with "fingernails on a whiteboard," but you might say something like "that person's voice affects me like the smell of white board cleaner," which all of us who’ve smelled it will agree is repulsive.

[July 18, 2012]

[1]
Cash on the barrel head: cash at the time of purchase
Three sheets to the wind: drunk ; pertains to chains that regulate the angle of sails; if the sheets were loose, the boat would become unstable and tipsy.