I learned very early that when you associate with marginalized people, you become marginalized yourself.
I had transferred from Bethel Christian School (where I attended 7th-9th grades) back to the Millcreek school district (where I attended before and after).
It was my first day at McDowell Intermediate High School, which held about 1,500 kids in 9th and 10th grades.
I entered my homeroom.
In those days, many classrooms had round tables that seated 6 students or so. No rows. Just small groups.
In the few seconds I had to assess my new homeroom before choosing a table, I saw all the pretty girls together, all the jocks, all the geeks, all the dirt bags, etc, and in the middle, at the front of the class, a table with two lonely looking kids that didn't fit any clique - One spindly and sallow, the other chunky with tussled hair, both sleepy-eyed, withdrawn, lost-looking.
I sat down with them.
Partly because I didn't know anyone. Partly because they seemed to need a friend.
At some point the homeroom teacher, a coach or something or other that I never had for any other class, said "If you don't want to be a number, you don’t have to be, it’s up to you," almost angrily or indifferently; was quite strange for a first day of class. He never said anything else I remember the entire year, except my name when taking roll (and I don't really remember that, I just presume since the truancy officer never showed up at my house).
When we left homeroom that first day, a stocky, muscular boy walked out with me. He shook my hand and introduced himself. Tony, with an Italian last name I don't remember. He asked me if I knew those two kids I was sitting with. I said No, they just looked lonely.
Tony was popular and nice to me that day. I don't recall ever seeing him again, not even in homeroom.
We remember the exceptions, don't we? Maybe those two kids remember me.
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When you associate with marginalized people, you may become marginalized yourself.
Or Pope.
Funny how that works.
[2013-07-25]
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I remember Intermediate very well. It was such an incredible change from BCS where we'd attended for so long. I'd not been in public school since the 3rd grade prior to returning in the 9th grade. I remember too, like you, the clear delineations between groups, and the minority that didn't fit clearly into any of them. Maybe, that's not such a bad thing after all.
ReplyDeleteIt was a bit overwhelming, so septic and enclosed; when I got to McDowell up the hill - probably 40 year older bldg - it was like a breath of fresh air - straight hallways, windows, strong angles. There's something to be said for designs that have been around for hundreds of years.
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