My testimony last Sunday in church.

Dee Dee next to a statue of St Matthew, gifted by a member of St Andrew's in Grand Rapids. This picture is in St Matthew's sanctuary. Pastor Rob kept Matthew hidden before introducing him to the congregation.

Not because it's especially good (in fact, it's entirely unremarkable as writing), but because some family member somewhere today or someday might find it interesting.

"Hello everyone, I'm Charles. I know I've met some of you. I became a member here at St Matthew many months ago. I was a bit nervous when Pastor Rob asked me to say a few words about my own prayer life; I'm a writer, not a speaker, and far from a role model, but I can tell you honestly that prayer makes a difference.

Paul tells us to "pray without ceasing" [1 Thessalonians 5:17]. How do you do that? Coming from a fundamentalist background, I found that hard to do. You see, fundamentalist prayers are like conversations, and they're different every time. If a fundamentalist prays without ceasing, he's doing nothing else, because he'll be focusing as earnestly on that conversation as he would at the dinner table.

I only heard the Apostle's Creed once that I recall as a boy, and though I heard messages on the Lord's Prayer, we were also taught not to repeat it verbatim, but to use it as a model. It was new, strange, and refreshing to hear these prayers every week at St Matthew.

God has taught me that I can repeat a simple prayer anytime at all, and mean it just as much every time.

I'll share it with you in a moment.

But first, I want to tell you how prayer has changed me. I have a deep-seated sense of injustice, and inequity angers me. In fact, it made me bitter, and it was cutting me off from Jesus. (Jesus doesn't want to be around a bitter person anymore than we do.)

I have a hard time dealing with the divide between the wealthy and privileged who subjugate the poor and marginalized, and the poor and marginalized who are powerless to change it, and everyday things I think are unfair to me.

It's easy for me to pray for people I live with or work with, but it's very hard to pray for those who hurt others.

Of course, I pray daily for many things - including my family, Pastor Rob, Pastor Nick, and Pastor Dave back in my home of Erie, PA, and my church family here at St Matthew - but I close every prayer this way:

Dear Lord,

Teach me to more fully love you, and others as myself.

Help thou my unbelief.

And be merciful to me, a sinner.

Amen.

These are not my own words, of course, but they suit me well.

There are 3 buckets there, which I didn't realize until Pastor Rob asked me to reflect on prayer; they are love, faith, and forgiveness - and I don't know of any human hurt that doesn't fall into one of them.

This is a closer picture of the St Matthew statue from St Andrew's Cathedral in Grand Rapids

If I'm tempted to curse at another driver, or at a dimwitted pundit on TV, even a terrorist who beheads innocent people - I'm able (most of the time) to stop and pray for love, faith, and forgiveness, and gradually, I see these people (and myself and Jesus) differently.

And I've learned to ask for those things daily, often many times a day, and at least once a day I pray before a crucifix, like the one at the front of the sanctuary, so I don't forget just who it is I'm talking to."

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Earlier this week, a woman of Eastern European descent entered St Matthew Lutheran Church with the statue of St Matthew you see on the right. The statue had been in St Andrew's Cathedral in Grand Rapids for many years, but fallen into disrepair. The woman's husband, a caretaker at the Cathedral, refurbished it and wanted to give it a good home. As there are no St Matthew Catholic churches in our area, she gave it to us, where it was warmly received. It so happens that last Sunday, 9/21, was the Feast of St Matthew. I'm sure she was aware of that, and I wonder if the rest of the Apostles are finding new homes on their feast days.

What neat thing to do.

[2014-09-21]

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