He went thataway.

If you know me or spend much time here, you know I often ask myself how I'd like to be remembered, what I'd like on my grave stone, things like that.

Today I realized that it doesn't much matter, because after everyone's gone who knows me, so will be gone any recollection of the subtleties that made me, me - lilts and tilts and gaits and other wonderful things that characterize humans.

That's part of the reason I why I write here and elsewhere, every day, but no amount of words (or pictures or video) can fully capture the presence of a human being.

[2013-02-16]

c0

Click to enlarge: My Grandpa Grandy, LaVerne E Grandy, at the Grand Canyon, circa 1950.

I can still see my Grandpa Grandy's reserved smile, how he cleared his throat and adjusted his head before speaking, and how his hands shook later in life with essential tremors (that were unrelated to drinking or Parkinson's). Those things, even though I record them here, will leave this earth with the last person that enjoyed them as expressions of what it meant to be "grandpa" to me, which was something different than what it meant to be "dad" to my mom, "husband" to my grandma, or son or brother or grandson himself.

[2013-02-16]

 

c0

Click to enlarge: This gravestone reads "Here lies an atheist, all dressed up and no place to go." I have no idea if it's real. Kurt Vonnegut wrote that even though he was an agnostic, he didn't have the guts to fully deny God this side of the grave. I'm not sure it takes a lot of courage to be an atheist on your deathbed, since, if you're right, it doesn't really matter, does it? IMHO anyone, like Vonnegut, that doesn't go so far as to curse God and die, harbors some belief, else why not?  Vonnegut is among my favorite literary writers (which include Capote and Salinger).

Anyone ever average up the length of the characters on a tombstone?

I did. A very brief survey.

50-100 characters

Imagine that.

Less than a tweet.

c0

Of course, it varies. Rich folks have bigger tombstones and more space. Even grave yards are segregated. And there are many buried with no tombstone, because they couldn't afford one, or no one cared, or no one was left to care, and that is sad.

I'm fond of grave yards, even old, poorly maintained ones. I like the beauty, the peace and quiet, the communion I know is represented by the stones, and the love that put them there.

Gravestones are less memorials than mileposts. They say, "He went thataway."


[2013-02-16]

c0