Saturday, May 10, 2014

i done been gradjiated

c0 A canister of Gerber Graduates Carrot Wagon Wheels Finger FoodsIt’s become popular to “graduate” kindergartners. Not sure how that started, I’m not crazy about it, but any positive reinforcement for completing a year of school is a good thing.

They should, however, add graduation speeches if they’re going to have graduation ceremonies for kindergartners, and if they did, they would sound something like this:

I stand before the kindergarten Class of 2014, hopeful, bright shining faces, not yet furrowed by disappointment, sadness, and pain.

Everything you learned here will serve you well, because, as Robert Fulghum told us, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.

But there is one thing  Robert Fulghum and others didn't tell you, and I will tell you now:

Never lose your wonder at two pieces of candy stuck together.

Everyone knows you don't have to share when two pieces of candy are stuck together.

That's a rule.

And if they make a funny shape, they’re more fun to eat.

That's a rule, too.


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